We know that illnesses and bad health create stress in marital relationships but to the extent that it may be the reason for divorce is SHOCKING!
A report ‘Gender Disparity in the rate of partner abandonment in patients with serious medical illness’ published in the 15 Nov 2001 issue of Cancer journal revealed a surprising finding –
It is more likely for women with severe illness to become divorced as compared to the men in similar health problem.
If you are a woman, surely you’ll know how your own nursing instincts come to the fore when your man falls ill and if by any chance you happen to be a man reading this, then you know where your guilt hits!
It is important to take care of yourself everyday
Ekta, a 34-year old marketing professional and mother of twin boys, never got the time, energy and ‘thought’ to go back to her pre-pregnancy weight. Juggling all her time between family and job, she binged and worked late nights. She always felt so burdened by the work that she forgot what it’s like going for a workout, spa, shopping or parlor. She was fast-paced, ambitious and committed to kids; never stopped once to take account of what’s happening to her. Last week, after a long time, she had a close moment with her husband, not to share intimacy but he wanted to tell her that he contemplating divorce.
She broke down and asked why?
Look at it from the husband’s eyes.
How much attention are you giving to him? Remember those early days of your married life when you used to get dressed up, share jokes, take care of him, cook a meal that he loves and be there for him. There was some warmth you showered in the relationship.
The problem is not just the looks. Hypertension, diabetes, arthritis, headaches, body pain and backaches sap all your energy leaving you irritable. There is a loss of libido…
Your partner tries to talk but you snap back.
You are always cribbing about bills, kids, workplace tensions etc.
When you are sitting beside him your partner prefers to work on his laptop rather than talk to you.
Does this happen to you? If yes, then it’s time to mend your ways.
Though you would argue that you stopped taking care of yourself because there was no time from taking care of the family but you’ve to find time.
Wives are on the other side of the fence too!
Ever come across a married woman dating other men? There are plenty. Married women have very vulnerable emotions and posses a competitive desire to be considered as the best couple in town.
Not happy with their sex life or a not-so-good looking husband (as per their standards), women began to grow restless and on their search for solace. This solace most often comes at the expense of break-ups with spouse to find a new partner or infidelity.
Is all well in your sex life?
That’s another reason marriages are falling apart. There are unfulfilled desires in the bed which leaves partners looking for more. For example, the growing problem of erectile dysfunction in men is leading to dissatisfaction in married life. Many people won’t know that it’s a common thing and can be treated with little bit of medical help.
Restore the sparks before it’s too late
Accept the fact there are troubles cracking your marital relationship.
Find out if in any way health – be emotional, physical or mental is the underlying reason. Most times, you’ll find stress, sex, weight, illnesses, depression and negative attitude is the real cause and rest are all symptoms.
Don’t feel shy to seek help from an expert. There are experienced marriage counselors, psychologists, sex specialist doctors, nutritionists and weight loss surgeries to help you out.